October 31, 2003

• Halloween is Samhein (pronounced Sowen), the pagan new year.  The tradition of dressing up is that pagans would dress as what they wanted to become in the next year, or like dead friends or relatives in order to communicate with them.  Supposedly now is the time when the 2 worlds are closest & it is best to communicate with those who have passed.  It is a harvest celebration, as well as the turning of the cycle to God, the masculine (we believe in Goddess & God).  It is colder & darker now, it is the realm of the horned God (no, not satan).  With that comes the supression of life (think opposite of spring).  And with that, I accept my little girl's fate.  It's a part of life, which is cyclical like the moon & the seasons.  And I accept that, always have.  As much as I will miss Ny, it is her time to go.  I'll make sure she goes peacefully & does not suffer.  I plan on wearing make-up tomorrow (can't dress since I'll be work & it would be awkward to wrestle dogs while in some kind of costume), to bring beauty & love into my life.  I already have that, now I just want to enhance that.  And part of that was having Ny for the past year and a half.  She's a blessing.  This is very difficult emotionally, but she has done her job & it is time for her to move on.  Every January first, we say that we are going start the new year clean, start our lives over.  So it is with Nyako.  She is starting her new life now.  She will celebrate the pagan new year weekend with me, assuming she can hold on.  Then on Monday, I will send her on her way.  It will be odd euthanising my own pet, but I know it's for the best.  I personally believe in Anubis, the ancient Egyptian god of the after life.  He presided over mummifications, guided the souls to the heavens (they did not believe in hell) & comforted the families as they mourned.  I know he will take her & make sure she has a safe journey over, and he will comfort me.  I can rest assured she'll be ok because she's in his hands.  All my friends & family have been very supportive & helpful through this.  I am blessed, and I remember that on this Samhein.  Thank you all for all that you've said, done, and given me.  It is greatly, greatly appreciated.  Blessings to you on this harvest new year!

  • 12:38 am
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