December 3, 2003
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Another pounding headache today....Joy!
I got my inspiration for today's entry while in the shower. It struck me how we let fear ruin our lives. So many people live & fear & don't risk anything, and they lose so much for it. It's a shame. I've encountered a few of those people & I see their lives dead end.
We fear the unknown, the unseen, anything/everything that lies beyond human thinking. Instead of embracing what is greater than us, we fear it. We fear making decisions if we don't know or understand the consequences of that decision. I am guilty of this too. But I have also learned that the unknown does not always equal badness. The outcome is what we make of it.
I've been forced to make some scary decisions, and in many cases, I couldn't let fear hold me back. In some cases, I came out fine, in others, hurt. But as I moved on I would look back & see the good that would come out of that decision. You can grow & learn & become a better person from EVERY situation. It's up to you to decide if that's the way you want to live your life. I personally find more gratituide & contentment in being positive about things.
I gained so much by taking risks & letting go of my fears. I got into veterinary medicine by taking a risk & taking a job I thought I'd hate, and now look at me! I took a risk taking each of my jobs, but they taught me so much & I'm a better vet tech for them. I took risks in my personal relationships, in moving, in every aspect of my life. Hell, I took a risk in facing my fear of fish (No, I'm not kidding. I used to be phobic of fish. Strange I know, but that's besides the point) & I took the internship at the Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research & Preservation. That was the best decision I could have made. I fell in love with Marine Mammal work...I learned & experienced so much...it was an amazing experience. Even decisions like dating Vinny or getting married helped me. There was pain there, but I grew as a person from that. I learned & experienced & matured. I faced the fears of being alone, getting divorced, etc., and I came out so much better for it.
My grandfather has a pillow that says 'No Guts, No Glory." He got it during some major business acquisition or something. History of that aside, I agree with that statement. There is so much to experience in life, and living in fear keeps you from those experiences. It does take a lot of guts to bite the bullet & face the unknown. But, wouldn't you rather live a full life than a life of regret & what if's?
I can go on & on, but I'm basically repeating myself. It just doesn't make sense to me to live in fear & not live a full life. Just think about making the best out of every decision & not letting fear hold you back from your full potential.
Comments (3)
There are tons of quotes/sayings that try to makes us feel better when we are in the pits of hell. " It's better to have love & lost then never to have loved at all" or " God gives us only what we can handle" or "All the hell you are going through will make you a stronger person in the end (*pat*pat*on the arm)" and so on... Risk taking, facing the unknown & facing our fears allows us to expand the parameters of our existance. How boring life would be if we were never "pushed." How would we ever know what we really could do. I read somewhere that we only use a fraction of our brain power. Can you imagine the full power of the human mind? ( makes you wonder about ESP, telekinesis, etc....) I know in my own life things have been shitty and on top of that I have my mind working against me, making things worse. Really I know that offing myself isn't the answer when things get bad, BUT my mind tells me it's the only solution because it can't cope. Ahhh...but that's what good drugs are for, right? right! In all, the challanges I have faced over the years have shaped & molded me into the kind of person I want to be....empathetic, strong, creative, adventurous, curious & caring. I think that compared to most people my own age I have a better grasp on life and a more mature outlook. I look at my sisters and wonder if I am even related. They are shallow, superficial, materialistic and are only out for themselves. (They only call when they want something from me, knowing they will get it because I'm a good person.) Agh...Im rambling on & on...
Anyway, I agree with what you said in your blog. very good!
Be well!
h.
p.s. Your tattoo sounds awesome! My tattoos are fairly large...you can get so much more detail that size. I have 4....
#1- inside lt leg on my calf-a fairy with red hair sitting on a blue crater filled moon. this one was added on to when I was feeling "dark". I had orange & blue-ish flames put around the moon. The fairy's wings are shadowed/ highlighted so it looks like the flames are dancing behind them. hard to explain but it was my first and I like it. #2- upper lt thigh- fishy water scene from the dr.seuss book " one fish two fish" probably my favorite tattoo. #3- rt inner calf- orange poppy my favorite flower. I thought about getting this added on to. maybe making a leg piece out of it. hmmm...don't know yet. #4- upper upper back- my drawing of a phoenix. symbolizing the "rebirth" I felt I was going through. I would like this added on to...definitely incorperating some sort of celtic design. I got almost all of my tattoos when I was depressed or going through some sort of pain. You know: "physical pain to counteract the mental pain" The same goes for my piercings. ha!
So...Thats it. Can you list all yours? Curiosity is killing me! Ooohh! Even better, do you have photos?
You have to truly analyze a situation before jumping in with both feet. Make sure that the ends justify the means. More important than being able to take risks, you have to know what's in your long-term best interest.
Speaking from experience, I did just that two months ago. Happy...yes, it's been...TWO-MONTH ANNY!!! You've been picturesque of what a girlfriend is supposed to be: Caring, Affectionate, Attentive and supportive, Nurturing (despite me objecting). Each day spent with me--on AIM or in person--you make me realize what utter idiots Vinnie and that other one was for (at best) not appreciating you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
:femmeblk: (There just ain't no masculine equivalent...on any other man, this would look undignified.)
I read your tattoo blog from November....All I can say is WOW! I definitely would love to see pix of them! I was a little taken aback when I read about your Anubis tattoo. I have this love of Egypt ( My mother went to Egypt in her early 20's and I use to drag out her photo album & look at it for hours!) and felt a certain affinity towards Anubis after reading a few books when I was younger ( ie: " The Egypt Game" ) Strange eh? Oh...and after reading your blog I also have more "witchy" questions for you about familiars, choosing your own deitys...etc! sending some pictures your way....
H.
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