December 11, 2003

• Deep breath...I wasn't even sure if I was gonna post today, I was doing ok.  Then I read Mike's fucking post.  I said what I had to say in my comments, Mike. 

  
  

  Lynn was telling me in the tat parlor that Stephen once told her that sometimes shit happens to us in our lives, and that it's a lesson.  But it may not be a lesson for us, it may be a lesson for the other person.  I truly believe that is the case here.  I guarantee that Mike's perspectives will change given some time & real world experience.

  
  

  I was gonna keep this to myself, but FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  

  The question Dawn challenged me with was regarding the GORGEOUS 26 year old woman named Tiffany.  Since I met her, I find myself thinking about her often.  She is beautiful & has a soul to match.  She, like me, is bi, but has never been with a woman.  It would have been a great first experience for both of us.  Dawn asked me if I'd leave Mike for Tiffany.  I said no because I wanted to wait & see how things played out with Mike.  It would be beyond disrespectful to do that to him, so I didn't.  Although, I do think about her.  So, maybe now...  But then today, Stephen asked me out!  LOL....I said yes, we could hang out.  He is 52, and I told him I have reservations about such a severe age difference, but he said we'll do whatever I'm comfortable with....He'll let me lead, he wouldn't jeopardise the beautiful friendship we have just because he's attracted to me.  We're gonna hang out on Monday...I have no expectations, no goals for it, just to enjoy his wonderful company.  Honestly, I am uncomfortable with the idea because he is so much older, and I'm viewing this as friends getting together.  But he's a great person to be around, he's been a wonderful friend & that's all I need or want.  Then, there's H.  She is a beautiful soul & is someone I am so glad came into my life & I would REALLY like to get to know her better.  In the past few weeks, she has proven what a great person & friend she is & I greatly appreciate that.  Hopefully our friendship will continue to grow.  And, currently I am listening to Pink.  God is she hot!  I have always had a thing for her    Looking at her pic on the CD....She is soooooooo beautiful.  I wouldn't mind waking up next to her....LOL 

  
  

  Dawn told me that she hoped this experience made me see how beautiful & sexy I really am.  Last night's tat & the shit today certainly did     Mike saw me look REALLY hot over the weekend...And now THAT is on the market    Ya know, I tried so fucking hard & got no respect in return.  It's my turn.  I'm going to enjoy everyone & everything that comes into my life.  I'm just happy to be.  Would I like to pursue a relationship with Tiffany?  Definetly, but I'm not gonna rush into anything.  If she was interested, maybe we'd start hanging out, I don't know....No need to rush or push.  Tiffany, Stephen, Pink: these are really more fantasies than anything, but a girl can have fantasies, ain't nothing wrong with that 

  
  

  Mike, I would like to still do Christmas Eve/Christmas day, but not if you see me as "darkness" as that Bible entry stated.  That's for you to decide.  I'm not writing this to be hurtful or spiteful.  I almost told you Dawn's question last night, but I didn't want to hurt you, but if your post is going to "come clean" & say the shit that it did, I can too.  Can you be friends with such a sinner?  'Cause it's not like Jesus hung out with prostitutes or tax collectors or anything.  Think about THAT "darkness."  Well, if not, I'm still giving you your xmas gifts, even if it means just dropping them off.  You decide & call me.

  
  

  Well, I need to go...I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much stuff to do.  God, I cannot wait for this 6-day work week to end, I haven't gotten ANYTHING done.  And I'm tired as hell too    So, that's it for tonight.  Goodnight, world. 

  
  

  PS....As of 11 pm, Christmas IS cancelled....But you'd better read your e-mail.  And as I said in our "chat" tonight, religion is not supposed to hurt....it is supposed to bring you joy, comfort & understanding?  Where is there joy, understanding or comfort here?  My belief system says that beliefs are personal & should be left as individual, which I always have.  I understand & respect that no one will think exactly like me & that's cool....Cause I can LEARN from other beliefs & perspectives.  I don't view ANY other religion as "sinful"....what gives you the right to say that mine is?!

  • 8:25 pm
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