December 21, 2003

• Pardon me tonight, I'm a little sick.  I ate & it was too my for my stupid GI system.  I hate these stupid problems.  I know it could be much worse & for that I am very greatful.  But this really sucks.  I LOVE food 7 i can't appreciate it the way I used to.  My poor friends & family have to go out of their way to accomodate me & I hate that.  I also hate that I can't eat salads, etc.  I can, but not as much as I like.  I can deal with my morning routine, I'm used to that by now.  But it sucks, because my stomach bothers me at least once a day.  I just want to feel "normal."  For Christ's sake, I ONLY ate dinner tonight & found myself dry-heaving in my grandparents' bathroom.  That kind of stuff kills me.  I'm not going to sit here & whine & say it's not fair.  I'm just gonna say it sucks, big time.  Oh well...   Enough of my whining 

  
  

  Tomorrow is Yule!  Yea!  I may go out to Orient Point to celebrate a little.  I'm also going to cast a spell for Stephen, I figured tomorrow would be the perfect day.  So, happy Winter Solstice/Yule!  Being the shortest day, it is the embodiment of God, masculinity.  From here on out, the days will get progressively longer, a sign of life returning.  Of the life created by God & Goddess.  Even though I've been a witch for a couple of years, I think this is the best Yule ever: I've never been so excited. 

  
  

  Heather, I'm glad I could clarify the oracle.  When I read that you were confused, I felt so bad!  I didn't want to confuse you or make you feel any kind of pressure or what have you.  I'm happy that I was able to at least explain that & take away your confusion    Your dream was VERY odd    I'm honored you dreamt about me, so, Thank you!    It sounds interesting & pleasant (which is always good)    I'm actually going to a book storte tomorrow, so I'll try to find a dream interprtation book & look it up.  If I find anything, I'll let you know    Good luck getting thru your last 2 days before the big vacation    I hope for your sake that these days fly.  Have a wonderful, relaxing, enjoyable vacation!  You deserve the best!  As for the pictures, no need to worry.  The pics for the studio won't have my face, but the pics that he & I are taking for me, will have my face.  I want to do a whole myriad of styles/pictures.  I want some to be sexy, some to be just the ink, some to be artistic.  I have a couple of ideas.  For example, to get the tribal on my left calf & the one of Nyako on my left thigh, I was thinking of a picture of my left leg in ballet (turned-out) passe (left foot by right knee, making a triangle-shape), so you get both tats, an interesting shape & movement.  I trust Stephen, and I think these pictures are going to be great.

  
  

  I saw him (stephen) today & as usual, it was great.  We went out on a nature walk & despite the cold, it was beautiful.  We saw a red-tailed hawk (I have one in my totem, she watches over me), we saw some kind of falcon, a bunch of mallard duck pairs.  It was great!  We talk about anything & everything & never run of out things to discuss.  Lynn & Kelly are sending him to Mexico so he can shoot pictures of the Monarch Butterfly migration in 3 weeks.  He was crying & speechless on the phone last night.  I am so excited for him.  This is something he's always wanted to do & this gift is overwhelming for him.  He deserves it, though.  I am thrilled for him    He kept apologizing for not calling me sooner & I told him that he shouldn't apologize.  He told me they were going to exchange gifts & that it was important, and of course when I heard what they did for him, I understood even more.  He asked me if I was always that understanding.  I told him I try to be    Then, jokingly, he asked about marriage.  I told him it was too soon.  He asked if we need to hang out at least one more time & I said yes    He is too funny    He is so excited & nervous & flabberghasted about this trip.  He's overwhlemed because he hasn't been treated like this before.  He deserves it.  He is such a sweet, wonderful, soul.  No matter what does or does not happen between us, I am very blessed to have him in my life.

  
  

  Well, I'm off...I should play with both the kitten & the bird before I hit the hay.  Good night for now, and happy Yule! 

  • 10:01 pm
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