January 3, 2004

• Hello world.  I sooooooooooooooo need to be in bed right now.  Just got in a little while ago.  I'm gonna be SHOT tomorrow.  Oh well.  Had a girls' night with Dawn & the gang.  Pretty fun.  Dawn's sister's best friend came over & that downed everyone & everything.  She is so dark & has a negative aura.  You do not want to be around her!  She didn't ruin our fun, but the tone changed until she left.  Oh well, I still had fun.  We played sexual enuendo Scattergories, pigged-out, everyone saw the tattoo, we watched semi-racey movies (nothing THAT good)...    Other than "Happy," the company was great.

  
  

  Work was psychotically busy.  I was in surgery literally all day.  Tiring, but we did some cool stuff.  We did like 8 x-rays today, which means we're off to a good start for the new year.  We did like 12 or 1300 x-rays in '03.  So, we gotta keep pumping them out! 

  
  

  Nothing new to report on the home front, really.  Except for this:  My friend Elisabeth (from school) tried to kinda hook me up with a friend of hers from Oswego (way up north in up-state NY).  We all chatted on-line the other day & it was ok.  But nothing remarkable.  And with my head spinning as it is in terms of romance, I so did not need this.  But I figured I'd talk to this guy as a friend.  He sent me an e-mail today with pictures of him.  He said some were dirty, but I thought he was kidding.  2 or 3 were of his face (not attractive, I don't mean to be rude, but it's true).  I clicked on the next 2 down & they were of his penis!  I didn't click on any more.  Ummmm, can we say "out of line"?!  Jesus fucking christ!  I did NOT want or need to see that!  Now I'm tryong to figure out how to diplomatically tell him that was not cool.  I wouldn't ask a guy I was dating for a while to do that.  What makes this freak think it's ok to send some girl he doesn't even know pictures of his genitals?!  CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Yeah, so I'm feeling rather ill....    This is kinda tough for me b/c of Elisabeth.  I love her & don't want to hurt her feelings & he is her friend as well, but what the fuck?!  I'd love to just sock it to him, but again, I worry about the position that puts Elisabeth in.  Goddamn it, can't I have just ONE normal day?!  LOL, guess not! 

  
  

  As for the responses to my last post.  Much thanks to all of you.  I did just take up painting & drawing as a hobby, and that is helping me to release & relax.  Ain't no way I could make money from it.  But, I'm really just using it as an outlet.  It's fun & healthy for me.  As for work, I don't know what I'm gonna do.  I was gonna go back to the bar scene 'cause it's easy, I know it & it's quick cash.  Plus, I could work the hours around my schedule at the hospital.  I don't know if I could get that with another job.  Sigh...If I ignore it, it's not there, right?    I know I gotta do it, but it's tough.  It's really fucking tough.  If I lived at home or had a roommate or something, that would be totally different.  It would help immensely.  I'll get through.  I was in major debt when I was married.  SOMEHOW I can get myself out of this.  I think.  I hope.  I have to.  I have to try, at least, right?  Goddamn it, I'll never build up good enough credit for a house....  Well, I can't worry about that right now.  I REALLY need some sleep.  Pleasant dreams, everyone.  Love you all! 

  • 2:06 am
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