January 23, 2004

• Lucy, I'm home!  I just got back a little while ago....went out to dinner with 2 co-workers.  That was nice.  We had a fun time & surprisingly, we didn't bitch about work too much    Work was ok...Nothing too interesting if I recall    Although I did have to get antibiotics for Akh today...She was sneezing her head off last night    She'll be ok.

  
  

  The pseudo eyebrow rings came today.  Gotta try those.  I think I may need to grow a third hand to fenagle <sp?> this, though.  LOL....I'll let you know how it goes.

  
  

  Nothing new to report, really.  Other than Akh playing right now which is adorable & hysterical at the same time.  It is getting a little late & I still have yet to do my weekly facial 

  
  

  Sigh...We talked a bit about men & sex at dinner tonight.  LOL...It's kinda funny.  Everyone is shocked everytime I tell them how long it's been since I've been with someone.  It's funny, but at the same time, there is a bit of a sting.  That reminder...Just trying to remember the feelings, the touch, etc.  Trying to feel that warm body next to me in bed, but I roll over every morning & there's no beautiful face resting peacefully next to me.  I know I rambled about this the other day.  LOL....I joke sometimes saying I wish I could just fuck someone    I never would, I'm not like that.  But damn do I miss having someone.  I have no one to call to tell them I'm coming home, do they want me to pick up dinner.  No one to go to a movie with (outside of family), no one to laugh with as we watch Akhenaten run around like a kitten on speed.  No one to snuggle with on my futon.  No one to hold or to hold me in bed.  There's no one here to put their arm around me as I cry, or to hug me in excitement...Or ANYTHING.  Sure, sex is nice & I miss that too.  But I just miss the companionship, physical & emotional warmth.  Sharing sweet, wonderful moments together, even if it as simple as watching a kitten play.  Sorry, I don't mean to harp.  But this really does eat away at me.  I know, it will all come with time.  I've heard it a million times & I've told it a million times to other people.  But my patience has been tested.  I honestly feel like I can't keep doing this any more.  Well, enough of that    I'm off to go play with my new toys & TRY to clear up this skin of mine (I look like shit right now, but that's another story)    Goodnight all.  Sleep well, stay warm, blessed be!

  • 9:43 pm
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