Quick entry, as the toothpicks that are holding my eyes open are starting to weaken…

First off, I must apologize to csipogirl/stormiedame/Kym.  I got your IM last night.  Please know I was not trying to avoid you.  I’m about to go explain why I went to bed right away.  I am sorry, it was nothing personal.  I would LOVE to chat with you again, the timing last night was off, I’m sorry.

I went to Catherine’s wedding.  Catherine is a co-worker, and everyone but one person from the hopsital went.  It was a lot of fun, it was a nice place.  Catherine looked great, simple but VERY elegant dress.  It was funny, at one point they had the DJ tell the tallest person at each table to take their napkin & knot it.  After they did that, they played musical napkin, sort of.  We were passing around the napkin & then the music stopped, of course the napkin was in MY Hand.  So, I go up with the other people (from the other tables), and we found out we won the centerpieces.  Very nice!  But then, the DJ said we had to work for it, we had to go get someone from a DIFFERENT table, and of the opposite sex.  I got to the table that was behind mine, it was where the doctors were.  I was hoping I could Zawie, but he was blocked by several people.  Jakie was available, though.  So, I stole him.  Well, it ended up I needed to dance with him, and a slow dance no less!  LOL…It was hysterical, 2 very shy, obviously uncomfortable people, the new girl & the boss.  It was a sight.  A few people took pictures & I did not hear the end of it all night!  LOL…The rumors were flying, jokes were being told, it was funny.

I left the wedding at 10 (after the cake & all).  I was tired from work & everything else, I just wanted to get to bed.  Well, I hadn’t been driving in the truck long till I noticed the heat, which is normally VERY strong, had turned cold.  I looked at my gauges, my water temp was VERY high.  I pulled over & waited for a LONG time for it to drop,  As soon as I started the truck again, the needle went sky high.  I waited AGAIN.  Cars were FLYING past me.  Cars, trucks, delivery trucks, church vans, cops…..They ALL passed me by without blinking an eye.  I kept my lights on, hoping maybe that would signal someone to help me (I don’t have hazard lights in the truck).  Nope!  So, bottom line, I was waiting, I was freezing, I had nothing & no one (I had stupidly left my cell phone at home).  Start the truck up again, Temp was higher than 240.  I was FREAKING.  I crawled to the nearest exit, and went where it looked like there were lights & civilization.  I ended up seeing some people at a bar (it was the first sign of life I had seen).  I pulled over, and asked if anyone could tell me where an open gas station was.  We popped the hood, my radiator was bone dry!  Charles, one of the men who helped me, was pouring in pitchers of water, it came flooding out the bottom.  I knew the hose was bad, that is one of the hoses Ray & I talked about fixing on Monday.  So, Charles & a couple of other people (who never formally introduced themselves), filled my resevoir with water, that didn’t leak.  We poured in a few pitchers.  We started her up, the temp was dropping quickly.  I turned the heat all the way up (helps keep the engine cool), and hobbled her home.  A trip that shouldn’t take more than 30-45 minutes ended up taking 2 3/4 hours.  The truck is home, she’s fine.  I’m going to get gas & some antifreeze/coolant to pour into her, I’ll buy a few bottles, so I ‘ve got some with me in case, until I bring her in tomorrow.  Shaun told me that he thought there was a leak some where, to just keep an eye.  She’s been driving fine EVERY day since Tuesday night.  No problems at all.  And how he could miss a leak like that in the hose I’ll never know.  He thought it was the radiator itself & he told me he wasn’t sure where it was.  It was pretty obvious to blind people last night!   Oh well.  Everything is ok, and that is most important. 

Welp, I need to get going.  Gotta do that stuff for the truck, get all my stuff together & head out to see mommy dearest   Anyhoo, have a great day everyone!  Much love & many blessings to each & everyone of you.  And travel safe!  

Sheets of blackness race down my breast.

The darkness is everywhere, it is building up.

Building up.

Lonliness envelops me, as I find my way through the hair and blackness.

I am bald for them now.

None will ever notice.

No one sees me.

I am bald, though.  For him, for her, for her, for her, for him…

If they are fortunate, they will see me in my baldness.

If not, it is only hair, it will grow back.

I yearn for your arms to be around me. 

For you to hold me.

Hold me.

I do not understand how you can love someone and never tell them.

I do not understand how you can make your love bleed and not be wounded yourself.

I do not understand how a little dye under the skin can release endorphins, and raise

self-love.

I do not understand.

That is why I live in silence.

Props to Kym who sent me an IM at some point last night (I was asleep) telling me she didn’t have a cigarette all day yesterday!  Rock on, girl!  Congrats!  You should be so proud of yourself.  I’m DEFINETLY proud of you, Hon.  Way to go!

Well, I’m off to go do girlie things so I look semi-decent tomorrow night for a co-worker’s wedding.  Nite all!  And good job, Kym!

I got a headache as soon as I got to work.  LOL….My job typically has that affect on people   Not as bad as the others this week, but every day except yesterday, I had some kind of headache or migraine.  I know I’m stressed & over extending myself, but I have to.  I have no one to rely on but myself.  It’s all me.  I am well aware of the fact that my body is telling me to slow down & take it easy, but at the moment, I really can’t.

Brought Akh home.  I forgot to tell you that she was spayed yesteday.  She did great, she’s mad at me, but she’s doing fine.

 The truck has become the topic of the week.  Got her inspected today, Ray & the guys LOVED it!  LOL…It was funny hearing them talk.  They were like little kids in a candy store.  “Look that thing has a 350!  Wow!”  LOL…It was great.  There was a terribly annoying lady there.  Ray was trying to talk to me & tell me what needed to get fixed/replaced & she kept butting in.  When she first came in, she was like a whirlwind & she gave Ray such an attitude.  She was practically screaming to him about how sick she had been over the weekend.  My thoughts were, “Sorry to hear that, but what do you want him to do about it?”  People!  Poor Ray is TOTALLY over-worked, stressed out, exhausted and he’s working on his day off & this hag is yelling at him for nothing?!  I felt SO bad for him, I really wished I worked there so I could have handled her & taken the burden off his shoulders.  So anyhoo, I’m bringing the truck back in on Monday for new hoses & belts & a new master cylinder.  Currently the master cylinder is leaking & it’s not bad.  The truck breaks fine.  But, we don’t want to let this go.  I’m also gonna put in my Blaupunkt cd/radio from my F-150 in, and I think that should do it for now (I am such a music junky.  Thank god she’s loud b/c without some kind of sound, I’d kill myself!)  Other than that, she just needs new shocks which can wait. 

 I showed the truck off at work too.  Everyone seems to like her, I had a great conversation with Robin (yes, the doctor that diagnosed Nyako, asks me about Wicca is also into cars!  How cool?!).  She LOVES the truck.  She can’t wait to see it in the morning, so she can REALLY see it 

I filled up the gas tank twice today.  Shaun (yes, that’s how he spells his name.  Unusual, I know) told me to fill it up every 100 miles.  I was at 87 this morning filled up & then 92 when I was leaving work (I reset the travel odometer each time I fill her up).  So, I went to the gas station just down the road from the animal hospital.  Somehow, I don’t think I’m allowed back there   No one wanted to be bothered (She is finicky to fuel), and she seemed to top off at 10 gallons which just isn’t right, she’s got a 20 gallon tank.  It sucks that the gas gauge doesn’t work, that would be MORE than helpful 

I smell like gasoline & I love it!  I LOVE this truck.  What was originally supposed to be a burden & a giant pain in my rear end has turned out to be quite the love affair   I’m going to do my damndest to keep her after my 6 months is up.  I am SERIOUSLY considering taking on a second job to ensure all this.   

Oh, totally off the subject.  I got my pictures from Stephen today.  Eeeeccckkk!  Oh well.  I think I look like shit.  I look fat & hairy & freckly.  Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!  I will try to scan the pics on Sunday, so that you can see my madness   The only one that’s missing is the tribal on my left calf.  Stephen told me that those were slides & would take longer.  Ya know, just going through them, my cross & 2 Kanji’s are missing too….I gotta find out about that.  If anyone cares, I’ll keep you up-dated.   Well, it’s getting late & I still need to watch my tape of Survivor.  So, I’m off.  Good night, everyone.  Much love & many blessings to you all.