June 25, 2004
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Hello world! I have returned! I got my computer back from being fixed...There was a virus, so they cleaned it out, up-dated my norton anti-virus & installed spy sweeper, and she is running the way she is supposed to. I am VERY happy. I will probably catch up with each of you tomorrow or Sunday.
Still haven't heard from Lauren. It kills me, it really does. After 16 years, she is going to put money ahead of me... I offered my truck & my physical labor to help her, Jeff & colin move into their new townhouse. I was not expecting (nor would I have accepted) money in return. I told her than if she & Jeff ever needed to borrow a car since they only have one, they could borrow my Stratus since I have the truck. Again, There was no motive like "At least I'll get a payback for this." It pisses me off & it hurts & it frustrates & confuses me. Since she's already shown that money means more than people, do I even want a friendship like that back? She was always complaining that she didn't have any REAL friends down there & now a month before I move 1.8 miles away from her, she slams the door in my face. She can't complain if it's her own doing. True friendship knows no paybacks or conditions...
Things with Bobby have been frighteningly wonderful. I'm scared out of my mind because I've never been treated this way, but it so wonderful to be around him. We laugh CONSTANTLY...And I mean a good, hearty, heart-felt, pee-in-your-pants type of laughter. I have told him things I haven't told anyone else. I think the fact that he's pagan/Buddhist REALLY helps....He is very open minded & non-judgemental, which is so important to me. He made a ring for me & gave it to me last night, he said it was his promise to give me everything I could ever want or need, that it was his commitment to my happiness & to me. I'm just waiting....I'm so cynical...I don't mean to be, but this just seems WAY too good to be true, so I'm waiting
I'm sure it'll be fine, but after years of abuse, you tend to assume the worst. For now, I am enjoying it & him and what ever is meant to be will be.
He'll actually be here in a few minutes, we've got some stuff we're going to do....I'm gong to help him with his resume & what not. So, I'm outta here for now, but now that the computer is back to normal I shall return!
Have a great night, all! Much love & many blessings to you all!
Comments (4)
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I'm sorry about Lauren!! She complains that she has no real friends, well, if other folks see her the way she is and that money is more important to her than friendship, then no wonder she has no friends. In answer to your question, if I was in your shoes, would I want her friendship back?? That's a tough one. I know you love her dearly and you've been friends a long time and that doesn't just go away, but you can't allow yourself to feel hurt by it either. If you accept her back into your life, it's a choice you consciously allow yourself to do, and so going into it with your eyes wide open, don't feel hurt because you already know how she is.
Good for you and your hunny!!!! Enjoy it!!! I was in several abusive relationships before the Goddess brought my Noah. I was bored with a guy that wasn't abusive at first as that's all I knew, and it sure took me a long time to trust him, but he's sure been worth it. Not all guys are schmucks. Most........but not all!! :biggrin:
Blessings!!
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:laugh: Yea! I'm glad you're hapy!!:clap:
So glad to see that you're back. Missed you. Sounds like things are going pretty well for you inspite of the friend acting weird. Don't worry too much about it. It'll all work out for the best. It may be just that it's time for you to move on to something better. Wishing you all the best and many, many blessings. :wave:
that sucks about your friend... ghrr... and after so many years. I wonder, if she's going to be this way, much as it hurts, maybe you're better off? I know, it's cliche, but what can you do!
good news about your comp getting fixed, and congrats on your new guy, sounds like a keeper, hope things just keep going better and better for you! are you still moving?
I'm learning the Japanese and Chinese for fun, I love learning these languages. I got the CDs off Barnes and Noble online, they were on sale, I think it's 18- 30 minute lessons for $28 or so? Not too bad!
take care!
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