Hey everyone!  I am so sorry that I didn’t get a chance to catch up on everyone’s site.  Saturday, we ended up just driving around & then we had a WONDERFUL Hibachi dinner at a great Japanese restaurant not too far from here.  It was expensive, but DEFINETLY worth it.  Today….We’ve done some stuff   Anyhoo, just some bits & pieces tonight…

Got an e-mail from Amber this morning, Darin, Vinny’s (my ex-boyfriend) best friend died on the 9th.  He was in a motorcycle accident on the 3rd or 4th.  He & Vin were riding & then decided to go different ways to Darin’s house.  Darin was going about 60 mph when he hit a curb or something, his helmet flew off & he hit a tree literally head on.  I feel bad for everyone, but I was never close with Darin.  I mean no disrespect, but he was an asshole.  I know everyone up there is really upset & it sucks since we only just lost Mug last summer, but I can’t keep in touch with Amber, or any of them.  I don’t need the drugs or drama or negativity that they wallow in, I’m in such a great place right now, I can’t contact them & let them bring me down.  My sympathy is with them, but nothing more than that.

Work has been great.  I am just so ridiculously happy to be down here.  Life is going well.  Bobby has been working his ass off trying to find work.  The problem is Virginians don’t move at the same pace as us NYers, but I know how smart & talented he is (His IQ is 215 so, I’m not worried) & I know the right job will come along, we just need to be patient.  He is trying, that’s all I could ask for.  It’s not his fault some of these people have been stringing him along.  Anyway…. 

I’m not going to go into detail, but…I had an issue this morning relating back to my father’s abuse.  To say Bobby was wonderful is more than an understatetment.  He is so good to me.  He really does care, and he has given me nothing but the best.  I don’t deserve someone like him: He is too good to me.  I love this man with all my heart & you had better believe, I’m not letting him go   I am so blessed to have him in my life.  I always dreamt of having something like this, but I never expected it would really happen to me.  Now that it is, I am more than happy.

Ok….Question time for everybody….I do apologize to all the mothers out there, because this is not aimed at you.  This is not a generalization b/c I know from first-hand experience not every mother is like this.  But, I have encountered SEVERAL women who, once they became mothers, got on this HUGE ego-trip.  Mind you, I consider children to be as much a miracle as anyone else, please understand I’m not trying to demean anyone or the experience, but women have said to me that basically because I haven’t (and sometimes they have even said because I can’t as if I CHOSE that) had children that I am not as good or important or whatever, as they are.  It was not said in those exact words, but there was always this condescending attitude.  I respect ANYONE who chooses to be a parent.  It is undoubtedly the hardest work in the world, and GOOD parents deserve all the respect & applause in the world.  I have chosen not to have children yet because it just hasn’t been the right time.  And no, I can’t have children, but I didn’t choose that, how on earth does that make me less of a person?  Thoughts, opinions, ideas, comments?  Any & all in-put is greatly appreciated.  I just want to hear everyone else’s experience & to see if anyone has any idea as to why this phenomena occurs occasionally.  Alrighty all, Bobby just brought out dinner, so I’m out of here.  Have a wonderful night.  Much love & many blessings to you all!

Hello Xanga-world!  Sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been working 9-7/7:30 every day.  It’s been REALLY busy, but very good.  I LOVE it there, I am very excited, I have a really good feeling about this.  Been doing A LOT, and the people I work with are very nice. 

We FINALLY got to DMV yesterday.  First off, I bought an insurance policy& for both the Stratus & the truck, I have to a pay whopping (this is where you hold your breath in excited anticipation)….$78/month!  LOL…No shit!  My total for 6 months is how much I was paying PER month on just the truck alone!  How cool!  So, I was TOTALLY excited about that.  So, we go to DMV & that ended up being a bit of hassle.  My driver’s license won’t transfer b/c of the restriction, but it’s ok for me to register the cars down here.  So, we got everything all set & it totaled over $800.  I was floored!  Down here, you pay tax twice a year on your car, and it is based on the value of the car.  But, they were able to finagle things & it ended up only costing $99.  After ALL this work the poor man went through, I had the title to & plates for the truck, then, out of nowhere, they lost the power!  So, I had to come back this morning before work to finish everything up for the Stratus.  So, the Virginia plates are on & the cars are finally legal!  Yay!

Bobby called about seeing Andrey tomorrow & again she’s coming up with bullshit excuses why he can’t see him.  I’m getting REALLY pissed.  He came so close.  I thought after all these years of trying & heartache, he’d finally have a good, solid relationship with his son.  We planned so much: Birthday & Christmas presents, places to go/things to do, stuff we can all do together, holidays, etc.  I want him to be able to see him next week, but I have a surprise 85th b-day party for my grandfather in NY, and Bobby has an obligation in NY, too, so I’m not sure what to think.  I just don’t want him to have to deal with these stupid games any more.

Other than that, we are both doing great.  I am so happy to be down here, life is treating us well & our love grows exponentially by the second.  I do hope all is well with each of you.  I’ll be home early from work tomorrow, so I’ll try to catch up with you then.  Take care, all.  Have a beautiful night & wonderful weekend.  Much love & many blessings to you all!

ATTENTION

~ ANYONE IN RICHMOND, VA AREA ~

There is a body modification meet-up through meet up.com on Tues. Sept 7 at 8 pm.  The venue has not been decided as of yet.  Currently, only my boyfriend and I are registered.  If you have or just enjoy tattoos, piercings, etc.  PLEASE join us!  We are new to the area and are trying to branch out!  Go to Meetup.com and sign up(it’s free)!

*This is not a dating service or ad for meetup.com*

Today was my first day of work.  It was only decided yesterday afternoon that I would work today.  And of course, as all good first days go, it started off…Interestingly.  I left myself MORE than enough time.  Of course, as I’m backing up in my giant truck with NO power steering, some idiot in a small car comes along & thinks they need the room of a mack truck to pass.  I got close to the car parked behind me, but nothing came of it except another car that drove up behind me honking, not realizing that I was face to face with a complete idiot.  Then I get to the entrance, and the out-going side is blocked by a broken down cable truck.  So, I go to the in-coming side, wait for traffic to pass & gun it so I don’t block the only way in or out.  Then driving took longer than expected because….well….people down here don’t drive like NYers.  I got to work on time, but, I was biting my nails there for a little while.

Work itself was great.  I ran some blood tests, was in surgery, got to wrap some surgical instruments, restrained, made up some meds, they showed me how they do all their stuff, including in house urinalyses (there’s a few different things involved), and a whole bunch of stuff.  It was great, really, although at least one of the doctors & one of the techs are die-hard Christians (I don’t want to say born-again b/c I’m not sure if they are, they are just VERY strong in their faith), which only has me concerned since I wear I pentacle AND a triple-Goddess moon. )O(    Oh well, all I can do is hope that it does not cause a problem.  I just don’t want to offend them or cause any kind of riff because I don’t go to church every Sunday. 

Well, it is getting late.  I need to get up to go to work in the morning (Yippee!).  Have a great night, all.  Much love and many blessings to you all!

He was supposed to be up by now.  Today was supposed to be the day.  He is resting quietly right now, instead.  The sky hints that there may be a brightness coming, but it gives nothing away.  The crickets continue to sing their beautiful, soulful melody.  Today.  The day that he was supposed to rebuild his relationship with his son.  Today.  The day I take on a role like none I’ve ever had in the past: Step-mother.  Today.  The day that started all the talks and thoughts and ideas for fun places, good gifts, birthdays and holidays.  The day which he had waited for for so long.  And SHE took it away from him.  From them both.  She robbed all of us of this golden opportunity.  I tried to comfort him as best I can, but nothing can ease the pain of having this day stolen from you.  For now, I shall return to his side and lay next to him, and continue to comfort him as best I know.  And I pray with every fibre of my being to every deity that ever was, that this day and this disappointment and hurt are never repeated….

Addendum: His son called.  His face lit up brighter than the sun breaking through storm clouds.  They connected, and as I watched, I cried out of happiness.  To see and hear them both delight in such a way touched me, and I felt the happiness they both felt.  We still do not know when they will return, when we will see him.  But, she has not backed out on her word completely, which is good.  If she had, I would make sure she regreted that mistake,  For now, we wait to hear, but there is a light at the end of this tunnel.  A light he waited for for 8 years.  I pray with all my soul that his wait is over.

His eyes are endless, a rich, warm brown that is sweeter than chocolate.  They see directly into my soul.  His smile is brighter than the sun.  Pure white that glistens brightly, even in the dark.  His touch is warm and protective, firm but always gentle and  caring.  The color of beautifully molded clay, his skin is soft, a warm, comforting blanket that covers and caresses me.  His hands are large, and scarred, slightly weary from the trials of life, but always ready to do more.  His kiss is warm, inviting, gentle and sensual.  His kiss whispers to me, proving to me time and again that he is trustworthy, that I am safe.  His hair is as black as a night on the new moon, and is a soft place for me to lay my tired hands.  His aura is brighter and warmer than a perfect spring day.  His voice is sweeter than all the birds singing outside my window.  He is a true blessing.  This is the man I love.    

I am sitting here, dying in silence.  This is supposed to be my home, but without him, it is not a home.  It is merely an empty, vacuous space in which I am contained.  Like a lady of the Civil War era, I wait out on my balcony, watching for my soldier to arrive home.  I miss his touch.  I miss the feeling of his warm lips on my skin.  I long for his touch, even if it is just to hold me.  I miss his presence.  I miss him.  I want him.  To go another night in my bed alone would be the death of me.  My soul feeds off his energy.  Without him here, I am weak, I am hollow.  A sun shines outside, but it is not my sun.  My sun is covered by the clouds of distance.  It will shine again when my dark knight has returned to my arms.  Until then, my life is grey and dismal. 

ADDENDUM…..I keep forgetting to tell you guys.  If you haven’t already checked it out, “MasterYoshiRyu” is Bobby’s site.  Drop by, say hi to my sexy black man

It had only been 2 hours, but it felt like an infinity, and I didn’t know if I could handle it any more.  A few more hours have passed, and I’m hanging in there, but the lonliness is overwhelming.  Bobby had to drive back to NY to deal with some personal business , and he’ll be back tomorrow or Thursday at the latest.  Yes, I am totally PMS-ing, but I do miss my man.  I have never had anyone take care of me or love me the way he does.  We have so much fun together, but we can support each other in ways I never knew imaginable.  There is yet another summer thunderstorm brewing in the sky, and I want nothing more than to watch it on the balcony with him.  There is has been at least one storm a day since we’ve been down here & we loved every minute of them.  Even when we got drenched running out to the car. 

I love it down here.  It is beautiful.  The people are EXTREMELY friendly.  We’re getting around.  Although I don’t speak like the natives, I feel like I belong here.  I’m learning my way around.  Everything is close by without feeling crowded like NY.  And when it’s not raining, the sky is clear, the sun is bright and beautiful.  There is an abundance of trees.  I have so much work ahead of me hugging all of them   I keep asking Bobby if he is happy down here.  All he says is he’s happy where ever I am.  I am just as thrilled being with him, but I want him to like the lifestyle down here, too.  I do have to say, we are having a blast scaring the crap out of the more conservative natives.  The looks we get when people see a 6’6″ black man and a 5’1″ white woman.  We’re quite the pair.  Add on the fact that we’re both Ecclectic Pagans, and…Well….It’s just a lot of fun

Yes, I did a get a job.  The first job I interviewed for.  The pay is more than I got paid in NY.  Good benefits, GREAT hours/schedule, and I liked the feeling I got.  There is a possibility I might eventually move into an office manager-type position, but not now.  However, they do have some great ideas for me, and I am totally on board with them.  I have to do some stuff to transfer my vet tech license to VA, but once that gets rolling, I can start.  I just need to call my school to send my transcripts down here, have a notory sign something & just finish out some small details & pay some transfer fees.  I already filled out all that I could.  I’m hoping to finishing it all up tomorrow, Thursday at the latest.  So, life down here is treating us well.  I definetly feel like I’m home.  I just wish I was closer to my family, but I don’t think I’d be able to afford living any closer.  We’re throwing a surprise 85th b-day party for my grandfather & part of the surprise is that my brother & I will be there.  I cannot wait.

Anyway, I think I’ll close for now.  Have a lovely evening everyone.  I’ll probably be in touch again tomorrow.  Much love and many blessings to you all! 

Well, I’m here, on my grandparents’ 62nd wedding anniversary.  I do wish I could be with them, but I’ll be back up for a surprise 85th b-day party for my grandfather later this month.  Lots o’ stuff going on.  Let me see if I can catch it all up.

First off, Lauren had been writing some stuff on her xanga saying things like her copy of “Angels And Demons” had fallen into enemy hands.  Wow.  I go from best friend to enemy.  I called her EVERY day during her pregnancy to check & see if she was ok.  I TRIED to throw her a bridal shower & my mom and my mother’s friend saved the day since everyone else failed her.  I’ve done rituals & made sachets for them, the house & the baby.  I have done nothing but love them, and yet, I am somehow an enemy.   It kills me.  She even sent me a text message the other day.  In that message, and on xanga, she talks about how she would never ruin my career opportunities despite the friend that I have been to her.  Yeah, damn ME for offering, but you refuse.  That makes a lot of sense.  There’s not a damn thing I can do.  Bobby keeps asking me why I’ve been torturing myself by reading her site & dwelling on this whole scenario & what not.  I can’t help it.  Personally, I cannot throw 16 years away that easily.  I was willing to do anything & everything for her & her family (and I offered everything I could), and yet I am a bad guy.  I’ll never understand it.  I told her it was obviously a huge miscommunication & I was sorry for my half of that miscommunication.  Not good enough.  Well then, what is?!  I guess I’ll never know.

Had a lot of drama going on with my friend Elisabeth.  Things with that jack-ass of a husband of hers got scary.  VISIBLE bruises on her.  That sent me flying.  She hung out with Bobby & I, and we introduced her to Jay.  There was a mutual attraction between her & Jay, which makes both Bobby & I estatic.  She spent the night with me & told me that she would come down here with me until she could sort things out.  She was supposed to call the next night.  She didn’t.  I called NUMEROUS times, never heard back from her.  So, Bobby, Jay & I decided that we should stop by & try to get her out of there on our way.  Unfortunately, because Jay was driving the moving truck, he could not come to the house.  He pulled over the side of the highway & waited for us.  Bobby & I were there for a LONG time.  I had called the cops & filed a report that afternoon.  This time, we knocked on the door of the RV.  Jim, Elisabeth’s husband, looked right at me through the window blinds but didn’t open the door.  Bobby called the cops again.  It seemed almost instantaneous when 3 cop cars pulled up.  One of the cops came right up to us & told us he knew the score.  He knew they had been there many times before & he himself had been there before.  The cops waited with us for a while.  Elisabeth told them she was ok & that she was going to stay.  The cops left.  Bobby & I Told her that was the biggest mistake she could have made.  We told her she may never have another chance to get out.  We talked to her for a while, and she decided she would come with us.  She went to go back into the RV to change, I tried to stop her, but she went anyway.  She was in there.  I heard 3 loud thuds & we could hear them arguing inside.  The cops came back (we found out later that Jim had called them back).  One cop then told us that we needed to leave & never come back.  Let me tell you, I was a WRECK.  It was EXTREMELY difficult to just drive away & keep going.  She did call Jay to let him know she was ok & to find out what was going on with Bobby & I.  I just spoke to her yesterday.  She IS ok, and she is definetly getting a divorce & it looks like she might be coming down here & she is definetly going to start hanging out with Jay.  I am thrilled about that.  I know everything is fresh, but if there is anyone who knows how to treat a woman properly, it’s Jay.  Hopefully things REALLY will start to work out to her benefit.  I love that girl, and she has been through way too much bullshit, I want only the best for her.  Hopefully this is the start of that.

Other than that, we are down here, getting acclimated, still tons of boxes everywhere, but we’re getting through it bit by bit.  I have a job.  I had an interview on Thursday & I took the job.  The pay is higher, decent benefits & I liked the atmosphere.  I have to make a call about being “officially” licensed as a tech here in VA, but otherwise, I am all set.  Bobby & I actually have a bunch to do & I should probably get going.  I;m going to try to get back on here later tonight when I can FINALLY read & catch up with everyone else.  Take care, have a wonderful & beautiful day.  Much love & many blessings to you all!