August 22, 2004

• Hey everyone!  I am so sorry that I didn't get a chance to catch up on everyone's site.  Saturday, we ended up just driving around & then we had a WONDERFUL Hibachi dinner at a great Japanese restaurant not too far from here.  It was expensive, but DEFINETLY worth it.  Today....We've done some stuff   Anyhoo, just some bits & pieces tonight...

  
  

  Got an e-mail from Amber this morning, Darin, Vinny's (my ex-boyfriend) best friend died on the 9th.  He was in a motorcycle accident on the 3rd or 4th.  He & Vin were riding & then decided to go different ways to Darin's house.  Darin was going about 60 mph when he hit a curb or something, his helmet flew off & he hit a tree literally head on.  I feel bad for everyone, but I was never close with Darin.  I mean no disrespect, but he was an asshole.  I know everyone up there is really upset & it sucks since we only just lost Mug last summer, but I can't keep in touch with Amber, or any of them.  I don't need the drugs or drama or negativity that they wallow in, I'm in such a great place right now, I can't contact them & let them bring me down.  My sympathy is with them, but nothing more than that.

  
  

  Work has been great.  I am just so ridiculously happy to be down here.  Life is going well.  Bobby has been working his ass off trying to find work.  The problem is Virginians don't move at the same pace as us NYers, but I know how smart & talented he is (His IQ is 215 so, I'm not worried) & I know the right job will come along, we just need to be patient.  He is trying, that's all I could ask for.  It's not his fault some of these people have been stringing him along.  Anyway.... 

  
  

  I'm not going to go into detail, but...I had an issue this morning relating back to my father's abuse.  To say Bobby was wonderful is more than an understatetment.  He is so good to me.  He really does care, and he has given me nothing but the best.  I don't deserve someone like him: He is too good to me.  I love this man with all my heart & you had better believe, I'm not letting him go   I am so blessed to have him in my life.  I always dreamt of having something like this, but I never expected it would really happen to me.  Now that it is, I am more than happy.

  
  

  Ok....Question time for everybody....I do apologize to all the mothers out there, because this is not aimed at you.  This is not a generalization b/c I know from first-hand experience not every mother is like this.  But, I have encountered SEVERAL women who, once they became mothers, got on this HUGE ego-trip.  Mind you, I consider children to be as much a miracle as anyone else, please understand I'm not trying to demean anyone or the experience, but women have said to me that basically because I haven't (and sometimes they have even said because I can't as if I CHOSE that) had children that I am not as good or important or whatever, as they are.  It was not said in those exact words, but there was always this condescending attitude.  I respect ANYONE who chooses to be a parent.  It is undoubtedly the hardest work in the world, and GOOD parents deserve all the respect & applause in the world.  I have chosen not to have children yet because it just hasn't been the right time.  And no, I can't have children, but I didn't choose that, how on earth does that make me less of a person?  Thoughts, opinions, ideas, comments?  Any & all in-put is greatly appreciated.  I just want to hear everyone else's experience & to see if anyone has any idea as to why this phenomena occurs occasionally.  Alrighty all, Bobby just brought out dinner, so I'm out of here.  Have a wonderful night.  Much love & many blessings to you all!

  • 8:47 pm
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