December 4, 2004
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Sigh...It's quiet here. I immersed myself in a project from my workbook this afternoon. Plus, I had to do some things that in one way or another related to Bobby. So, I'm a bit blah right now. I'm hungry, but don't want to do anything about food. I don't know, it's just tough sometimes, you know. I have good times & bad times. I know this is all normal, it is all part of the healing process, but this loneliness & quiet is killing me. It eats away at me. Focusing on the termination, the pain, the finality of our relationship & having to contact past & present friends of his, it's a lot to take in. I do have a lot to be positive about, and I'm trying. I guess I shouldn't force myself to feel one way or another, I have to sit through this whole emotional roller coaster before I can get off the ride a better, more complete person. Please bear with me as I go through these loops and turns and moments where I'm up-side down...
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