December 13, 2004

• I saw two shooting stars on my way home tonight, due to that meteor shower, I guess.  It was beautiful.  It is such a clear night, the constellations are so bright & beautiful.  You know, since this all happened, I have never been happier to just be alive.  I honestly wasn't sure if if I'd make it.  I couldn't picture myself going through that.  I had no idea if I'd survive, never mind the fact that I never wanted to die as much as when I was going through all this BS.

  
  

  I have such a greater appreciation for life & the beauty around me.  Everything that we see, they are all beautiful gifts to us.  We need to treasure each tree, every star, All the clouds, the beautiful & radiant sun...Everything!  I don't know what the meaning of this life is, why we're here or any of that.  But I value life so much more.  All I want to do is good work, I want to help people.  I don't know what's waiting for me on the other side, but I am just going to keep doing the best that I can.  I find myself often overwhelmed with emotion at random points.  I have changed so much because of this, in so many ways....Physically, emotionally, even spiritually.  It's amazing.  We take so much for granted.  I don't mean to sound preachy, please understand I have so much gratitide, the depth of my appreciation for all that I have overwhelms me at times.  I feel very fortunate to have survived this & if I can help someone else, then I am that much more appreciative.  Life truly is a gift, even when people try to pull you down & hurt you.  Even when they think they have destroyed you, they haven't.  Not if you appreciate the beautiful gift that is you.

  • 11:00 pm
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