Well, to start off, as you all can see, this site is currently a work in progress    LOL...Sorry for all the wild, different changes.  La Donna & I are slowly working on this.  WEll, she is, really.  She knows what she's doing & I'm just being a brat & telling her what I want    So, thank you very much, La Donna!  You're a sweetheart, I appreciate all your hard work.  Hopefully everything will be all set up soon.

So, we had a nice dinner with my fam.  Although I love them dearly, I am finding it harder to be in public with them....Well, Bob, my mom's brother.  He claims to be veegan (but he eats crab cakes & foods with egg & milk in them, but whatever).  He also had to bring his own water to the restaurant, because he will now only drink triple-filtered water.  For god's sake!  It's emarassing to be with such a pain in the ass.  He actually made the waiter take away his glass of water after the waiter filled his glass with the restaurant's water.  I'm normally so embarassed at restaurants because of my limited eating, but that's all health.  This was bad    Oh well.  He means well.  I think  

I haven't heard from Stephen.  *Clawing at my desk*  When will I hear from him?!  Damn, this is killing me    But I know I can't rush him.  I wish I could reassure him.  He gave me a CD, and there's one song that says "All I ever wanted was to be with you..../You've got to know I'd never do you wrong..."  I would LOVE to sing that to him, or at least tell him.  Plus, I found some great dolphin pics for the next tattoo, but again, I don't want to bother him.  Don't want to be a pain in his ass.  Sigh....  This whole "letting go" thing goes against my nature    I do believe he will be the death of me    In the meanwhile, just to add more confusion to my plate, I've been e-mailing Andrew, the guy who saw my old profile on e-mode.  He seems REALLY cool.  We think alike in terms of religion, life goals, our life perspectives, etc.  Plus he's local & only a year older than me.  He's kinda cute too.  DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!  LOL...This is so weird for me.  I've never had anything like this happen to me before.  I do hope I can get some answers on Friday.

I would like to introduce everyone to Tat2Jay.  I stumbled across his site the other day.  He is a soldier in Iraq, with a lovely wife & children back here in the states.  I thanked him for what he is doing for us.  I told him how I would love to enlist, but I would be rejected due to the neuromuscular disease.  So, I have a lot of respect & sympathy for those people who ARE out there.  He is a wonderful guy & his site is great.  Send lots of love & positive energy to him & his family.

I think that pretty much wraps things up for today.  I'm gonna go cuddle with Akhenaten.  Take care all, good night.  Blessed be!

Wow, I just spent like $400 today!  Half was for me, the other half went to a baby gift for my college roommate & b-day prsents for my mom.  I did buy about $200 worth of underwear for myself, though, at Victoria's Secret.  It was pretty crazy there, they were having their semi-annual sale.  It was fun in a way, 'cause it's the total opposite of what I'd normally do.  It was girlie & crowded, 2 things I normally DON'T do    But I needed the stuff, plus I got pretty, sexy underwear.  Most of my bras are sports bra & my panties are something my grandmother would be ashamed to wear!    LOL.  I want to feel pretty & sexy when I'm not at work.  Now I can.  Now, if I know I'm gonna see Stephen (or anybody else for that matter), I can have something nice on, on top & underneath   

As for the men & women in my life, You're right, Herbwytche.  I know you are.  Part of being alone the past 2 years was for me to get to that place in my life.  I'm better now.  A million times better.  I've grown, learned to love & accept myself, my self-esteem is at a high point it's never been at before, and I've even come to embrace sex & sexuality as a normal part of a healthy life.  I haven't had any in the past 2 years, and I do want to expand that part of my life, but not just with anyone.  Honestly, the only weak point in my life is my insecurity with other people.  I'm the same way with my friends.  I don't know how to break myself of this.  I tend to feel that if I don't hear from people, if I don't keep in CONSTANT contact with them, that they don't love me.  I grew up hearing I'm replaceable, unimportant, and unloveable.  I cling to these people to reassure me that it's not true.  I know life is busy & people can't always talk, yet, emotionally, that kills me.  How do I realize emotionally, that not talking every day is ok?  It's funny because I was thinking about this today when I was stuck in traffic.  I thought about how the energy you put out comes back to you.  How immortality comes with the energy you put out.  If I love & give to others, if I do for others, I'm putting that good, gentle, giving energy out to the world & it will continue to go around & will even touch people outside of my small circle.  I truely believe that the music & energy I put out touches so many, more than I could ever concieve.  And yes, it will come back to me.  It has.  At this moment, I am surrounded by so much love & warmth from my friends.  I have new, wonderful people who have become a great addition to the quilt of love my "older" friends have created & blanketed me with.  I am so greatful to have all these wonderful, beautiful souls in my life.  I am truely blessed.

Well, I should go.  I have a lot of wrapping, packing & trying on to do    Thank you, all.  I love each of you.  Take care, blessed be & have a wonderful night!

GO SEE BIG FISH!!!  I saw it today with my mom & Dick (her boyfriend).  It was AMAZING.  It seemed a little long in parts, but it was really good.  You're best going WITH someone, and a box of tissues.  I won't say any more, don't want to ruin any bit of it.  It was great!

Haven't heard from Stephen since I visited him & Lynn last week    Oh well.  This is me trying to remain calm & go at his pace, he needs it.  It's just tough for me.  I'm so insecure that I desperately cling to people, afraid of losing them.  I know that the grip of death I have does more harm than good.  It's just that when you're told no one will ever love you, and when someone DOES pay attention to you, you don't want to let it go in any way.  I know I'll be better off waiting, it's just hard.  I'm in a place I've never been, doing something I've never done.  It's just an odd feeling, that's all.

Lately I've been pretty confused on the love front of my life.  I have this "thing" (whatever it is) with Stephen.  I also have a couple of ladies in my life that I'd really like to get to know.  I also just got an e-mail from someone who saw my profile on e-mode.  I cancelled that subscription a while ago, but apparently, that does not remove the profile, it only cancels your ability to do certain things.  I can still search & what not, it's just certain features I can't do.  Weird, huh?   I asked Goddess & God to stop sending people my way    LOL....I've NEVER had this much attention or confusion about relationships.  It's nice, but overwhelming at the same time.  I'm confused because I'm looking to settle down, be they male or female.  I just want to get to THAT point in life.  I've done enough of the "wild" single life stuff.  Even if it's just me, the other person & some pets, I'm craving some kind of sense of "family" that I've built.  I love Stephen.  He means so much to me, and I wouldn't mind being with him.  But, can I settle down with someone who is a generation my elder?  There's not a complete future there.  But I love him, and I love my time with him.  I'm also sooooooooooooo afraid to hurt him.  I don't want to break his heart or disappoint him.  Sigh....Well, all this is why I scheduled that reading on Friday.  As much as I like to be in control & have the answers right away, I need to wait until then.  This is testing me in so many ways 

Well, that's enough for now.  It's so great to just let this out here.  There's no one here to talk to.  No one I come home to who asks how my days was.  I don't care if no reads these (although it's great when you do), at least I'm releasing somehow.  I'm off to bed.  Good night, world!

Wow.  So today was crazy.  I had a helluva time waking up this am.  But somehow I managed    LOL...Work was BUSY.  We just went non-stop.  No one got lunch or any kind of break.  We just kept running.  But it was good.  Busy is always good    As usual, though, I did have my curse of getting all the bizarre/psychotic clients.  None of the doctors want to go into the rooms with me 'cause I always get the creeps/weirdos    LOL...The last few were semi-normal, but the cases were wacky.  LOL!  As much as it kills me physically, I love this job.  Definetly keeps you on your toes!    After work, Gloria, one of the vets, looked at Akhenaten.  I brought her in hoping to get her checked out.  I was afraid it wasn't gonna happen 'cause we were so busy.  But, she did look at her.  Gloria is dating an orthopedic surgeon, and he looked at x-rays we took of Akh a while back.  He said everything was normal.  But those were pelvic shots.  Today, Gloria did some neuro tests.  Normal.  Hips were normal.  Then she got to the knees.  Bilateral luxating patellas.  Basically, that means both knees slip out of place.  She's gonna need surgery on both knees.  Gloria is going to talk to her boyfriend about how old Akh needs to be for surgery, etc.  My guess is, between spaying her & the 2 knee surgeries, Akhenaten will have 3 surgeries in a year to a year and a half's time.  I'm concerned about putting her under anesthesia so often.  I don't think we can spay her & do one knee all in one surgery, which if we could, would be ideal.  I know she needs these surgeries, and I want to do them ASAP so she's not in any pain, but as a mother, I worry.  But I knew she would need some type of big orthopedic surgery.  That's why I took her.  No one else would.  No one outside of a veterinary professional of some sort, would take a kitten KNOWING she'd need orthopedic surgery right off the bat.  Poor little girl.  Gloria said the knees slip out of place REALLY easily.  That's probably why she falls.  The knees slip so instead of landing on her feet, she lands in a sitting position.  No matter how much training or schooling or experience you have, this kinda shit makes you worry.  I have faith.  She'll be ok.  I'll make sure of it.  Sigh...Oh well.

Yeah, H, it does suck having poor credit.  My divorce hurt my credit, too.  I have a repo on my record because of my ex.  I'm TRYING to build my credit, but it ain't easy.  As callous as this sounds, once I have my inheritance, I won't need to worry.  I'll have more than enough for a house.  Especially if I get out of this hell-hole known as Long Island.  Then I'll REALLY be ok financially    I hate thinking like that.  Nothing could ever replace the presents of the presence of my grandfather in my life.  But I know he won't be around forever.  I HAVE to face up.  I'm lucky he's been around as long as he has (I've known so many people who lost grandparents long before now).  2 things told me that this may be the year, too.  When I went out looking for bar work the other day, a voice whispered to me, "Don't worry about it (money).  Go home now."  The next day was the day I found out how much I'll be getting.  I also consulted my oracle day before yesterday (I think) which also told me that I needed to accept & prepare for the death part of the life cycle.  As Dawn said, if I keep focusing on that & thinking that way, I'll be putting out negative energy which could only hurt him, which I really don't want to do.  So, how does one prepare without putting out such negative energy?  I don't want to hurt my grandfather in any way, but like a child, I think, "Oh, he'll be around forever.  He'll always be here."  Well, I should just flat-out stop.  I'll just NOT talk about that. 

I've been told (mainly through my horoscope) a few times between yesterday & today, that I should let go & let Stephen come to me.  My horoscope today said, "Every action, however simple, has its consequences. Are you hungry for the long-term benefits or the immediate experience? Weigh your motives before following your impulses."  Clearly, my mind is in the NOW mode.  So, as difficult as it is for me to sit back & keep my mouth shut, I am going to wait to hear from him.  I don't want to push or rush him.  I can't force him to trust me.  He needs to learn that he can trust me on his own.  Good things come to those who wait, right?  I'm still getting flack about it from Dawn & Kari, though.  I know Lauren disapproves, too.  And they have a point.  I understand the reasons for why they're saying what they're saying.  But none of them know HIM.  Maybe that would change their minds, I don't know.  Lauren made a point of saying that.  I just wish Dawn & that crowd would think that way, to be open to him to some degree.  But they judged him completely based on his attraction to me.  That's not fair to him.  Maybe this whole set-up isn't fair to him.  Maybe it's my insecurities that are making me cling to this.  Again, I don't know.  But I feel that I need to at least see where this goes, if anywhere.  It may not go anywhere.  Whatever is meant to be, will be.  I can't push it in any direction.  So, I will let nature take over & run its course properly. 

Damn!  This is one long, rambling entry!  LOL....Sorry.  Well, I'm hungry any way.  I should go eat something    Take it easy, everyone.  I hope all is well in your corners of the world.  Blessed be on this beautiful, starry night of the waxing moon!

Hello world.  I sooooooooooooooo need to be in bed right now.  Just got in a little while ago.  I'm gonna be SHOT tomorrow.  Oh well.  Had a girls' night with Dawn & the gang.  Pretty fun.  Dawn's sister's best friend came over & that downed everyone & everything.  She is so dark & has a negative aura.  You do not want to be around her!  She didn't ruin our fun, but the tone changed until she left.  Oh well, I still had fun.  We played sexual enuendo Scattergories, pigged-out, everyone saw the tattoo, we watched semi-racey movies (nothing THAT good)...    Other than "Happy," the company was great.

Work was psychotically busy.  I was in surgery literally all day.  Tiring, but we did some cool stuff.  We did like 8 x-rays today, which means we're off to a good start for the new year.  We did like 12 or 1300 x-rays in '03.  So, we gotta keep pumping them out! 

Nothing new to report on the home front, really.  Except for this:  My friend Elisabeth (from school) tried to kinda hook me up with a friend of hers from Oswego (way up north in up-state NY).  We all chatted on-line the other day & it was ok.  But nothing remarkable.  And with my head spinning as it is in terms of romance, I so did not need this.  But I figured I'd talk to this guy as a friend.  He sent me an e-mail today with pictures of him.  He said some were dirty, but I thought he was kidding.  2 or 3 were of his face (not attractive, I don't mean to be rude, but it's true).  I clicked on the next 2 down & they were of his penis!  I didn't click on any more.  Ummmm, can we say "out of line"?!  Jesus fucking christ!  I did NOT want or need to see that!  Now I'm tryong to figure out how to diplomatically tell him that was not cool.  I wouldn't ask a guy I was dating for a while to do that.  What makes this freak think it's ok to send some girl he doesn't even know pictures of his genitals?!  CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Yeah, so I'm feeling rather ill....    This is kinda tough for me b/c of Elisabeth.  I love her & don't want to hurt her feelings & he is her friend as well, but what the fuck?!  I'd love to just sock it to him, but again, I worry about the position that puts Elisabeth in.  Goddamn it, can't I have just ONE normal day?!  LOL, guess not! 

As for the responses to my last post.  Much thanks to all of you.  I did just take up painting & drawing as a hobby, and that is helping me to release & relax.  Ain't no way I could make money from it.  But, I'm really just using it as an outlet.  It's fun & healthy for me.  As for work, I don't know what I'm gonna do.  I was gonna go back to the bar scene 'cause it's easy, I know it & it's quick cash.  Plus, I could work the hours around my schedule at the hospital.  I don't know if I could get that with another job.  Sigh...If I ignore it, it's not there, right?    I know I gotta do it, but it's tough.  It's really fucking tough.  If I lived at home or had a roommate or something, that would be totally different.  It would help immensely.  I'll get through.  I was in major debt when I was married.  SOMEHOW I can get myself out of this.  I think.  I hope.  I have to.  I have to try, at least, right?  Goddamn it, I'll never build up good enough credit for a house....  Well, I can't worry about that right now.  I REALLY need some sleep.  Pleasant dreams, everyone.  Love you all! 

I need to be busy    I was just talking to Lauren, and we discussed how I'm sitting here, procrastinating, letting everything overwhelm me.  Lauren asked me about stepping back.  I explained to her, it wasn't the people in my life.  No one is in my face about this shit.  It's me, I dwell on things & make mountains out of mole hills.  Damn me!    I haven't gotten ANYTHING done, and I'm still in my jamies    Akhenaten in sitting in my lap, happy as a clam    I wrote to some tour places in Scotland for information.  I also just requested info from 3 home-study courses for auto & motorcycle mechanics.  I love my job, and I don't want to leave this field.  I'd like to know this for myself, and maybe make some extra cash on the side.  We'll see.  I just have way too much time on my hands!    I should go try to be semi-productive    Sigh...I am so lazy    LOL...I really need a busier schedule so I actually get stuff done instead of sitting here getting stressed & confused about everything    Ok, I'm gonna go be productive now.  I mean it this time...   

LOL...I have no life!  LMAO, I'm ok with it, but I truely am a pathetic soul!  LOL...I'm sitting here watching the South Park movie, singing along    I must be quite a sight right now    It was a fun, quiet new year, though.... 

Things are resolved with Lauren.  We worked things out earlier.  It wasn't easy, but now things are back to normal.  And she loves my new tattoo which means a lot.  She doesn't have any ink & isn't into that scene, so for her to go on & on about it means a lot.  It's healing well, too.  I LOVE it.  I told Stephen he could be the first person to see the finished product, but that doesn't look like it's gonna happen.  Dawn is having a girls' night on Friday, and I know everyone is gonna ask to see it.  Unless I somehow see Stephen tomorrow, the girls will see it first (at least Tiffany will be there!  LOL).  Oh well, whatever happens happens...

I did a ritual for all my friends & family.  I lit some incense & candles, and I made runes & burnt the runes with herbs.  I annointed the candles with oils, too.  It took FOREVER to burn the runes & herbs, but it's FINALLY ash.  I'm going to Orient point tomorrow for the wind to wisk them away.  It was a general love, prosperity, good fortune, health, etc. ritual for everyone.  I just wanted to put out a lot of good energy for everyone.  I love these people, and no better time to do this than on a waxing moon.  So, to all, just know I put out a lot of love & energy for you.  I want only the best for each of you.  May love, health, money, blessings & gifts come to you now & always.  Blessed be!

I cannot wait until my reading next week.  I really need it.  It'll be good to see her again (she goes by the name, Oceana) and to get the answers & guidance I need.  I let myself get too confused & I fight myself between heart & mind.  I'm really trying to grow & improve, and part of that includes making good decisions & having clarity of thought.  Hopefully it will come to me.

I have sooooooooooooo much cleaning to do in the morning.  The apartment has gotten way out of hand.  It's so tough to do all this alone.  It's easy for things to get out of hand quickly.  Well, I plan on working my ass off & getting this taken care of & back in order.  Sigh....

I got an interesting bit of news at dinner tonight.  I learned about a certain part of my inheritance.  I don't think it's everything, but even still...goddamn!  I was not expecting that.  It was not the most pleasant of topics, but I just cannot believe what I'm getting.  I really don't want to divulge, but wow is all I can say.

Ok, I've been rambling quite a bit the past 2 days    I'm going to go sleep so I can wake up bright & early to clean    So, take care every one.  Wear dimes in your shoes today to have money all year!  Happy new year, love & blessings to all! 

Here's some fun, interesting info.  The first entry is my horoscope for today.  It's quite poignant!  The next 2 were results from tests I took at quizilla.  I thought they were pretty accurate.  I added in the Elf result because I thought that it too, described me.  Plus, I've had a few people tell me I am quite Elf-like    Enjoy.  And again, happy new year to all!  Love & blessings to all of you.

Everyone knows the same thing, but some like to put a more elaborate spin on it. Counter inequality with your own fairness. Nice guys and gals always win, even if the victory may not be overwhelming.

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal. "And The Phoenix's cycle had reached zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He emerged from his own ashes, to be forever immortal." Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum (Egyptian). The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life, the number 0, and the element of fire. His sign is the eclipsed sun. As a member of Form 0, you are a determined individual. You tend to keep your sense of optomism, even through tough times and have a positive outlook on most situations. You have a way of looking at going through life as a journey that you can constantly learn from. Phoenixes are the best friends to have because they cheer people up easily.

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The Alone. "When I wake up alone, the shades are still drawn on the cold window pane so they cast their lines on my bed and lines on my face." The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness, melancholy, and patience. It is governed by the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword, or Unrequited Love. As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so much love to give, but thing just never seem to work out the way you want them to. In life, you can be very optomistic, even when things are gray and nothing works out to your expectations.

You are Form 6, Elfin: The Wyld. "And The Elfin saw the evil and misjudgement in the world and shot her arrow at the sky. Bolts of lightning struck the earth and gave the world balance and growth." Some examples of the Elfin Form are Demeter (Greek) and Khepry (Egyptian). The Elfin is associated with the concept of growth and balance, the number 6, and the element of water. Her sign is the half moon. As a member of Form 6, you are a very balanced individual. You can easily adapt to most situations and you may be a good social chameleon. You aren't afraid of changes in your life, but sometimes you evolve too rapidly, leaving others to think that you are leaving them behind. Elfin are the best friends to have because they are open minded.

Some of you may notice I deleted those 2 entries from today.  I don't need that staring me in the face.  I don't need the negative energy or frustration.  Nothing against Lauren, I just needed to put it behind me.  I do have some good news from tonight 

The moon was GORGEOUS tonight.  Perfect half-moon watching over me.  Although I was unable to find a job at a bar (apparently there was only one bar between here & orient point.  Perhaps I need to head west instead), I still had a good night.  I went to orient point, I cast a spell for Lauren & I to both open our eyes & see things from the other's perspective.  I also cast a spell for money or a job.  I also had a wonderful idea hit me for Stephen's birthday gift.  I'm going to take my tax refund & save some money every week & use that to take him to Scotland.  I miss Scotland terribly & he has always wanted to go & photograph the castles.  So, why not go back there with him?  It will be wonderful.  I am so excited!  I actually started crying in the car because I know it will be such an amazing moment for us to share.  The funny thing is, his birthday isn't until may.  LOL.  It gives me time to save up, at least    LOL...I ALWAYS plan ahead like this.  I love the idea, though.

I had a great night with Stephen & Lynn.  They really are so sweet & wonderful.  They are blessings to me.  I put out some energy at orient point for Stephen & I.  That our relationship continues to blossom the way it has been & for me to let him come to me & not push or smother him.  That's tough for me because I'm so insecure, but it's what he needs, so I'm going to do my best to back-off a little.  As I told Lynn yesterday during my sitting, I love Stephen too much as a person.  I would NEVER want to hurt him.  Therefore, I will do what I must in order to keep him in my life (I don't care what "title" he has in my life, so long as he is in my life).

I scheduled a reading for next Friday.  It's a psychic/tarot reading.  This woman did a reading for me once before & it was great!  I really liked her & what she said.  It was beautiful.  So, I have a full hour session with her on the 9th.  I could really use some guidance & answers, and hopefully she can help provide some of that.  I know I need to find those answers within.  I'm hoping she can shed some light on things for me so I can take it from there.  Again, I asked for clairvoyance & clarity, openness & answers/guidance at orient point tonight.  It was a general spell.  Technically, it wasn't even a spell so much as a prayer/me putting out the energy.  But getting back to the reading, I'm really excited about this.  I need it right now, I really do.

I know it sounds like I'm spending money I don't have.  To an extent, I am.  But I got a feeling while I was driving tonight.  The moon was telling me NOT to go to any more bars.  She told me to just go home & that it was done.  The money was coming to me.  What I need is headed my way.  I finally understood the concept of money being energy tonight, and I grasped the concept of the ENERGY coming to me.  Part of that is giving.  As Hazenly knows, if you give, it will come back to you.  I just gave Lynn $100 tip for the tattoo.  She drew it on me on site, she put a lot of effort & thought & time into it & into me.  And I appreciate that.  To be perfectly honest, I'm honored that she put in that much effort & energy into me.  It means a lot.  And although I don't expect money back from her (the tattoo was the greatest gift she could have given me), perhaps that gesture will come back to me.  I'm not expecting or demanding it.  Instead, I'm just going to let it be & let the energy & magick work its course.

I bought belated xmas gifts for Dawn, Justin & Kari.  They got me something (I haven't gotten it yet, thank god!), so I ran out today after work to get them each something.  I bought Dawn & Kari each a necklace.  Dawn's was a goddess-like figure with garnet.  Kari's is a dolphin with rose-quartz.  I got Justin a beautiful incense holder/burner.  It's a large black bottle with a blue dragon on it.  You light the incense, put it in the holder, place it in the bottle & let it burn.  So I got him some protection incense too.  I also bought "Drawing Down The Moon" for myself.  This is the 3rd new Wiccan book I've bought within the last month!  LOL...I have A LOT of reading to do 

Work was crazy.  10 procedures today.  My legs are STILL hurting from all the running around, lifting/carrying & standing in surgery.  It was good, though.  Busy, but good.  I am beat & I'm glad I don't have to work for another 2 days.  My body can't take it 

Well, I am absolutely zonked.  I'm off to bed.  H, thank you so very much for your e-mail.  I greatly appreciate your love & support.  Words cannot describe what that gesture means to me.  Thank you.  Thank you to all of you.  Take care.  Happy new year to all of you.  I wish you love & blessings now & always. 

The tattoo sitting went great!  Little to no pain, Lynn expanded & perfected the design, and it didn't take long at all.  I look gorgeous!  I am so excited.  It looks sooooooooooooooooooooooooo good!  It is beautiful, absolutely beautiful.  Yea!

Lynn & I talked about a lot of things, one of which was Stephen.  I was kind of hoping the subject came up, but I didn't want to force it or bring it up.  Lynn is very happy for us.  And she told me to take it slow with him.  She told me he is at a fragile point in his life, and that he needs things to move slowly.  That's fine.  I recently did an astrology thing that said Tauruses need relationships to move slowly (yep, he's a bull), which is fine.  She told me that if he doesn't call or write every day that it's nothing personal.  That was important for me to hear.  That's just the way he is.  That's cool.  She said what you said, Heather.  So, I'm just gonna let things go which ever way they go.  No need to push, pull or force.  I love him too much to let him go or ruin what we've built so far.  What I love most about Lynn (and Kelly & Stephen) is just her ability to get it, to understand, etc.  I've never had to hide or cover anything up or not be myself.  I love that feeling.  I've never been REALLY accepted for who I am.  Many people get "most" of me, but there were parts or philosophies or what have you that seemed foreign to them.  I know I'm "odd," and I never thought anyone would truely ever get me, but these 3 wonderful souls do & that is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for.  So, at least I'm at peace & comfortable with everything now.  Thank you!!!!

I'm gonna go wash & lubriderm the tattoo.  Then, I'm off to go see my family & some close family friends.  Stephen said he'll call later.  I REALLY hope I can see him today or tomorrow.  I do miss him    Anyhoo, I'm off.  Catch y'all later!  Love you!