February 22, 2004
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I wasn’t going to write…I’m exhausted & I really need to get to bed. I got my period today & feel like shit, my body needs to rest. Stephen sent over 2 pics. One he fucked around with…Creepy! He put an eye over my nipple: VERY strange.
I guess he was just playing, seeing what he could do. The second is a straight on shot of the chest/torso piece. I look so goddamn fat! 
I am so sick right now: I’m disgusted at myself. I feel so low. I purposely didn’t eat, I’ve been working out, I’ve been watching what I eat, all to avoid this & all for nothing. It doesn’t help that I feel like a balloon b/c of my period, but I wasn’t even retaining water when we shot these. I feel so horrible….Any hope/growing self-esteem that maybe I was starting to get thin & look good: GONE. I’ll write about my day & dinner with Pam tomorrow. Right now I really gotta go to sleep. 
Comments (2)
*ehem* Fat you are NOT… Now perhaps it wasn’t the most flattering pose, but c’mon now… You are beautiful… simply beautiful…
and coming from me, someone who is up there in the size range, you are certainly not fat! We could fit two of you in MY size 16s
LOL So I guess I’m completely obese by your standards then??!
With stuff like this, it usually doesn’t matter one bit what someone else thinks… it’s YOUR perception that comes to the forefront…
Laur, you’re my best friend, after all the shit we’ve been through, I certainly have nothing to gain by buttering you up! Call me if you need me
I’ll be somewhere between changing diapers and doing laundry! 
I love you!!
~Llauren LlamaLlicious
no. you are not fat.
have you looked at me lately?
Donna